This Just in--FIFA and the new BCS!!

FIFA announces new changes to its next world cup! "It will be called the BCS (Bowl Championship Soccer)," states its public affairs directly. "We think the excitement will only grow!



FIFA's BCS will be made up of teams in several "BCS" conferences:

The SEC (South Eastern Continents) (Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay);

The ACC (Atlantic Coast Continents) (Ghana, Nigeria, Spain, England, France) (Brazil and Argentina jumped from the ACC to the SEC in last minutes negotiations)

The Far East (Koreas, Japan, Australia);

The PAC 10 (Chile, Mexico, New Zealand, Cost Rica);

The Big 10 (who actually can count to ten) (Germany, Netherlands, Italy, Russia, Algeria, Slovakia, Slovenia, Greece, Poland, Norway)

The Big 12 was going to form but was disbanded because Texas pulled out and little Sister Oklahoma followed suit.



The teams will play each other within their conference along with teams from non BCS conferences..The top teams of each conference will have their resumes submitted to the United Nations General Assembly, who will rank the teams. That ranking will be combined with top notch computer rankers that will rate the teams. The two tcombined top ranked teams will then play for the world cup. The other conference champions will play in the ALCOA soccer-a-thon bowl game, the Saudi Arabia Oil company soccer bowl game, and the GAZPROM oil bowl.



Several nations have cried foul, including the USA, a perennial top 16 team..."The USA simply was not invited to a BCS conference because, frankly, the nation is too religious. It has "In God We Trust" on its currency for crying out loud," says FIFA's spokesman. And frankly, its research has gone downhill--For example who has the world's largest collider--Europe not the USA."



"Besides, if the USA is ranked in the top 4 teams, it can still make it to one of the BCS bowl games and if it is ranked number one, well, they could play for the world cup!" The USA will be in the MWC (Mostly Western Civilizations), along with Panama, Sweeden, Luxemburg, Andorra, and Turkey.



Other conferences will no doubt form, including the Sun Belt (Eqypt, Iran, Iraq, Jordan) and the MMC (Mid Major Countries) including Sri Lanka, Latvia, Tunisia, Ecuador, and whoever are the rotating members on the UN's Security Council



The WAC (Weak Athletic Conference) (Idaho, NMSU, La. Tech and Nevada) has, surprisingly, given hints it may petition for membership in FIFA's BCS lineup. "Our thoughts are there is no chance whatsoever of ever getting BCS status with college football, so this is our only chance to get BCS membership somewhere," Karl Benson said.



The Vatican announces it will go independent; NBC states it will cover all of its games.



In the end analysts explain the change as a desire for certain select teams to maximize revenue and see this as the model to pursue. "We are simply trying to maximize excitement," FIFA's spokesman countered. "We can hardly wait to see Brazil take on Andora. And watching Belarus play Bolivia in the Chuck E. Cheese Bowl has us all waiting with baited breath!"

I love it. Makes me realize how dumb the BCS really is and how much I love the world cup

Email it to the AP press.

Nicely done.

Well done sir.

Excellent!



Just think though that the WAC should be countries too. Make a collection of the wackier or insignificant countries you can think of....Libya, San Marino, Vatican City, Belize, Brunei...

One mistake I see right off the bat is that you have 10 teams in the Big-10. :)



Another def for SEC - South Equatoral Countries/Continent. I assume Colombia (once they stop killing their own players for losing), Venzuela (whose inclusion would be based on the endorsement and insistence of Obama and Castro and oil), and Canada (just to piss off those awful Americans) would all be invited or included.

Florwood wrote:
Excellent!



Just think though that the WAC should be countries too. Make a collection of the wackier or insignificant countries you can think of....Libya, San Marino, Vatican City, Belize, Brunei...

Good thoughts! I edited to update and include....I thought we needed especially to note the Vatican's role of going independent.... ;)

imuakahuku wrote:
One mistake I see right off the bat is that you have 10 teams in the Big-10. :)



Another def for SEC - South Equatoral Countries/Continent. I assume Colombia (once they stop killing their own players for losing), Venzuela (whose inclusion would be based on the endorsement and insistence of Obama and Castro and oil), and Canada (just to piss off those awful Americans) would all be invited or included.

haha good point on the Big 10. I edited to address...I like your new SEC, but the good countries you list are all NORTH of the equator...Then again geographic limitations have never been a bar to the PAC 10 inviting Colorado, Northwestern being located in Illinois etc... :lol:

If only you realized how twisted FIFA really is...



How do they determine slots for each continent?

How do they determine seeds at the tournaments?

How do they assign referees to matches?



I look at FIFA and the BCS the same entities in different arenas, except for that FIFA has the de jure power as the governing body while the BCS has de facto power because of its money.



At FIFA gets one thing right--the format for the World Cup finals. Teams that go through the rigorous process of qualifying for the World Cup are guaranteed at least three matches at the finals. It creates lots of interesting match-ups, like Brazil-Portugal and USA-England, while allowing the teams some leeway to have bad games.



If college football ever goes to a playoff, I hope they use FIFA model, but with 16 instead of 32 teams. 4 groups of 4 teams, and a knockout tournament for the top two finishers of each group.

BoiseBYU wrote:

One mistake I see right off the bat is that you have 10 teams in the Big-10. :)



Another def for SEC - South Equatoral Countries/Continent. I assume Colombia (once they stop killing their own players for losing), Venzuela (whose inclusion would be based on the endorsement and insistence of Obama and Castro and oil), and Canada (just to piss off those awful Americans) would all be invited or included.

haha good point on the Big 10. I edited to address...I like your new SEC, but the good countries you list are all NORTH of the equator...Then again geographic limitations have never been a bar to the PAC 10 inviting Colorado, Northwestern being located in Illinois etc... :lol:

Geography cop note:



Colombia is both North AND South of the equator. It's split!



However extra credit points to you sir for getting the name of the country right and NOT saying "Columbia" which happens to be either a motion picture studio, major NY University, or the name of my High School.

CougarClaw wrote:

imuakahuku wrote:
One mistake I see right off the bat is that you have 10 teams in the Big-10. :)



Another def for SEC - South Equatoral Countries/Continent. I assume Colombia (once they stop killing their own players for losing), Venzuela (whose inclusion would be based on the endorsement and insistence of Obama and Castro and oil), and Canada (just to piss off those awful Americans) would all be invited or included.

haha good point on the Big 10. I edited to address...I like your new SEC, but the good countries you list are all NORTH of the equator...Then again geographic limitations have never been a bar to the PAC 10 inviting Colorado, Northwestern being located in Illinois etc... :lol:

Geography cop note:



Colombia is both North AND South of the equator. It's split!



However extra credit points to you sir for getting the name of the country right and NOT saying "Columbia" which happens to be either a motion picture studio, major NY University, or the name of my High School.

And could have been what our country was called instead of the U.S. of A. Hence the name of the university, District of Columbia, and your high school. Columbia - Land of Columbus -