Today Is Pure Hell, Like Living With Hawkwing

Last night was great. I came home, ate my can of cold soup (Remember I'm a bachelor.), then I sat on my couch, and watched BYU Sports Nation (Congratz to Spencer and wife on the new baby.), BYU WVB, and than the BYU b-ball game. Life was good. BTW, those of you who didn't watch the WVB game last night, you really missed a great match. The women dominated most of the match.



I get up this morning and was looking forward to doing some more mudding on the ceiling I just installed, helping my ex-stepson put in new brakes, and then watch a great BYU football game. This was going to be a great Saturday.



Halfway through the mudding, I broke out into tears. I wept bitter tears because I realized there was no football game today and because my tears of anguish and severe depression kept falling into the mud I was putting on the ceiling and making it to runny, I had to stop early.



Now I have to go help my ex-stepson, offspring of my vile second ex-wife, she who is the perfect example of a female type person who doesn't understand the mental difference between men and women. She wanted us to think alike and not together. :roll:



Now I'll go to my ex-stepson's place and will probably scream at him since he knows nothing about changing brakes, then my daughter-in-law will come out, and since she really understands the differences between men and women, she will whack me up the back of my head with the dope slap to end all dope slaps, and I will straighten up and behave myself. And in order to find forgiveness, I'll probably take them and my grandkids out to Johnny Rockets, a great hamburger joint, and maybe even to a movie.

WifeOfHawkwing said she agreed with the topic.

I approve this message.



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Urroner, I didn't know you lived with Hawkwing. :lol:

TulaneVandyRiceCoug wrote:
I approve this message.



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Please!!!!!!! I have enough problems just living with myself. The Lord will only inflict so much pain on a person's soul.

vancouvercougar wrote:
Urroner, I didn't know you lived with Hawkwing. :lol:

Does that make Hawkwing the ex-stepson?

Qman wrote:

Urroner, I didn't know you lived with Hawkwing. :lol:

Does that make Hawkwing the ex-stepson?

The only reason I would ever even consider having Hawkwing as an ex-stepson would be because LadyHawkwing would be my daughter-in-law. To know the bestest, one must know the worstest.

Okay, I have just been waiting for Saturday to roll around so I could watch the Lord's team kick a little butt on the football field. I was sooooo pumped, but I heard some great news - I didn't have to wait so long, THE GAME IS ON FRIDAY!!!!!



But misery is not to be denied her portion. :~(



I had a college professor who taught creative writing in stone. After struggling with me for several years, i wad finally able to scratch the word "I" without too many mistakes, he taught the Lord how to do the 15 commandments and that only took a couple of minutes. The Lord was always a showoff. "Look at me, I can walk on water!!". "Look at me I can appear in locked rooms!!". " Look at me, I can speak one word and create universes!!"



I tried showing him up one day. He said I wasn't smart enough to blow my nose and I proved him wrong, well, almost. I wasn't aware Kleenex had been invented and used my hand but he complimented me anyway. He said I was still way too smart to be a :utard:



Anywho, the professor had a very interesting theory about life. He said not only was mass and energy conserved, but so was misery.



You see an item who really, really want, but it's way too expensive for you to buy. You are miserable. Time goes by and the price drops enough so you can finally afford it and life is good...but wait, a newer and improved item has come out and you really want it AND you really, really can't afford it. Misery has been conserved.



Okay, the game is is Friday night...AWSOME!!!!...but it comes on late at night. :bug:



Okay, I live in Florida and winters are better here and there is a awesome beach just a short time away...AWESOME!!!!!...but that means I'm in EST, which means the game starts at 11:30 pm here.



There's no work the next day....AWESOME....but...



In the days of my youth, that's was in my late fifties, I could work all day and party all night, but now I'm not so young anymore, if I'm not asleep by 8, it only means I'm sitting on the crapper.



See!!!! Misery is conserved.



A friend and I were talking the other day about how life has changed for us. He said after getting up, it took him until 8:30 to take a pee and then it wasn't until 10 could he take a poop. When he was young, that was all taken care of by 7:30.



I laughed at his misfortune. I said I still had a nice piss by 7:30 and a healthy pooh by 7:45, but I was not happy about that.



"But what could be so terrible about that?"



I don't get out of bed until 8:15." :gross:



Misery is conserved.